watching you change. no, evolve.
i won't say that i don't know you anymore.
i'm just very lost and confused.
all mixed up.
Daddy, i can't stop the flow of worry.
but i'l try to keep it away and i'l submit her, actually.. them, to Your hands.
give me time please.
it's heartbreaking and i'm feeling cold and scared.
i wna cry.
Dadddy.. please.

a 2-year-and-more relationship ended.
because he's known, she's disliked and mocked at.
WHY?
what did she do, tell me?
you are supposed to support him if you like them.
jealousy?
leave them and their problems etc alone lah.
hello, privacy? knockx2.
DONT shove your freak ass into things you shouldn't.
thanks man. THANKS.
and i'm sorry you're so disgusting.
i don't even know that well.
but i'm feeling alot.
maybe after that, i think.
this is shit. this is reallly reallly shit.
GOODNESS ME.
its so ridiculous, it's quite funny actually.
she's been very innocently ridiculed. for no possible explainable reason.
he's had enough i suppose. of course he's had enough..
everyone's had it.
and you all still don't understand?
so..childish. disrespectful. ugly.
i want to gorge your intestines out through your nose.
OH MAYBE THAT'S TOO NICE RIGHT.
hur. spoke and explained nicely, but nooo.
you had to do your very best to make everyone all miserable, then you proudly announce. really, your stupidity irks and amazes all of us.
stop it now please. damages done alr.
what do you want, seriously.
is that so fun, hilarious?
what do you get out of it?
IS THIS HOW YOU DERIVE JOY?
oh yes. by ridiculing yourself, actually.
you didn't know that.
have a heart and feel bad, seriously.
SERIOUSLY.
get a life and grow up, I BEG OF YOU.

God bless these people.
and those people.

as much as i'd strongly-dislike to admit.
that i'l have to love my enemies.
self-control is pretty difficult, i tell you.

and why is my ear bleeding?

yes i blogged again, shut up about it.
i'l reply tags another time.
thanks anyway.

av sucked, go cyanide yeaah.
and baby's very pretty.

i'd like to post the lyrics of the Potter's hand here.
it moves me. another time, perhaps.

I NEED A PRAYER ROOM.

uruha's so hot.

what's with "life is a dream", misaki?

joey makes me wna pamper her like crazy.

i love your 200+-dollared red contacts, kel (:

mommy's THE pinkest!

babe is lianer than mommy OHMYGOSH! =x

bro chan ROCKS, yes !

bro chan and dadtheking look alike and sound alike s:

kuek's birthday is over but they're celebrating tmr during the 5th gathering.

i pasted kuek's cute photo for chuan shuo with his stupid purple hand and kel as the background, and my photoshopped pic with him (credits to mommy!) in the photo album. with a long msg! (: heee.

i love pris for pampering me like crazy !

xinru make me go HIAKHIAKHIAK.

babyboy's becoming a real girl quite knowingly (:

i called man a woman but he/she, one who always claims he/she is not a man, didn't respond. instead, he/she only responded when i called he/she man.

i'm using pink and green for the english teacher.

you have no idea how much i want to get water baptised. NOW.

takashima-san's email is late.

i like pampering lala and making xiao qiqi jealous ;P

dodo chan is on his/her way! no pineapples. hehhehheh! xD

i feel like squeezing oe's cheeks right now.

babyboy stole mommy's first ):

pris, simin, edlyn, shieling and xueting are so cute. i love them please!

sunday's tomorrow.

20th august is tomorrow.

the 5th gathering aka celebration of kuek's birthday, is tomorrow.

i will not get my picture with kuek in the near future.

why isit that i have pictures with all of them except kuek?

don't worry kel, i still adore you to bits (x

vics is super nice.

shinya and wawa make a cute couple!

misaki's too pretty to be true.

and vics is still so nice HAHA ^^.

kuek is amazingly attractive.

huishan is coolio. and jiamin's tall and pretty.

aoi's VERY VERY nice! so's the rest of FRUITSU ((: means wawa, joyie and janna too!

LUCIFY's NAME DO NOT COME FROM LUCIFER.

lucify is not meant to be devilish at all. just jrock-inspired.

uruha's the hottest.

dingdong WHO CUTS THE CAKE?! ((x

i have a king, queen and a princess!

and the cutest strongest knight ever! =D

i love red, grey, white and black i guess.

yellow star (:

starstar and i twinkle.

mommy's cute !!

leave it all to God.

i kissed the air a good seven times.

the seventh day is coming. HIAK!

seven times two equals fourteen!

seven on my right, seven on my left. those stars (;

i want seven piercings.

seven's an awesome number! ;DD

i shall end this entry already lah.

as the title sayyys!
ha i'm sneaking this entry in okay =x
will be SHORT O:!

<3 and thankyou.
KOR ! YES I LOVE YOU, KNOW THAT? ((x
little baby joey teetee, CIARA, XIARA, knight, king! ha the whole royal family.
zaaaanne (: you're skinnier than you think, silly.
simin, pris, jeriel! muackmuackmuack =PP ONE EACH!


aye.
know what.
URUHA TAKASHIMA IS SO HOT (x
yikes xD!

and i really thank God for my princess, queen, king, kids and kor.
(mommy: note the number of K-s! xP)

and vics is very nice. YAAY! ((:
uruha too. too nice please! hiakhiak.

random;
i've learnt to put things down quicker than before now, because i know i can always lean unto You for anything.
i guess i've grown, stronger now maybe? i hope.
though feelings do linger, esp after a burstout, but i'l always smile up to Him, knowing He's there. telling Him, "it'l go away. it will all go away. You'll make it go away."
i love You, Daddy. <3 MUACK OKAY! =D
the biggest for YOU la. -BLUSHBLUSHBLUSH! ^^ heee.

-
Gazette's REILA;

From the time we met, how much have you hurt; how much have you supported?
In tough times, you, more than anyone else wanted to tell me
The truth burning your eyes
What are you thinking, when you keep still so silently
There's no need for a reason, you see
Just as long as I return you

More than me who was left behind, you who turned to nothing
I wonder how painful it is for you
Although nothing's begun
Although I haven't said these words to you
Where are you going?

Reila…
Even though I try calling your name
This voice does not reach you
Reila…
Open your eyes and laugh, and show me that it's a lie

Where shall we go tomorrow
Because you wish it, we'll go anywhere

As much as I think you're always like that
You'll always end up going somewhere
Leaving me behind alone again
I can't reach you anymore, I can't reach you anymore
Even though I finally met up with you
Everything I've endured turns into tears and overflows

Reila…
The words I couldn't say
Reila…
I'll sing them to you now
Reila…
I love you more than anyone
Reila…
I love you, I love you

The room in which we both were is still unlocked as it was, as if it's always been waiting for you to return
I'll always wait, even though I know I'll see you open the door
Maybe you'll come back tomorrow
-

reita, the bassist.
on bass and that's enough for me.
i love bass, you know ? (x

URUHA.
beyond beautiful. beyond words. just, indescribable okay.
alright.
THE hottest, sexiest, prettiest, cutest being EVER ;DDD
his english is so uber cute! ^^ hee.
and he makes me SQUEALY.
-squeals some nonsense! /:
HAHA. =xx

takashima-san(:


and praise the Lord.
i'm really recovering, finally.
thank God.
'm alot better now, really xDD!
I LOVE YOU.

i hate, okay.

why can't you just take things slowwww.
why must everything jump out on me in a big rush!
please.
i haven't recovered from the others like two weeks back and now another one is too eager to meet me.
'm not happy to meet you hur! s:

times when i really really really experience the fact that.
being a good christian, takes alot. and alot more difficult than it seems.  
like kor said.

the responsibility of being a good testimony to others.
to influence others.
to be supported evidence.
times when Daddy gets shooted at just because i didn't fufil my duty as an AMAZINGLY wonderful testimony.
like how a parent is blamed for a child's rude mannerism and behavior.
it aches ):
'm sorry Daddy.

-muffled screams.
i can't even hug people noww.
i can't share stuff with them.
i probably can't go to school.
WORSE. I CAN'T GO FOR CHURCH!
mygosh right.

don't say, God will heal us and therefore it will not spread to others in school/church and therefore i can go to school/church.
shut up.
what we can do, we should do.
and God will do the rest, that is not within our ability.
and you CAN avoid me, seriously /:
so do that. i don't mind so long it doesn't spread out.
(EL Os oral and missed sci lessons are one of my greatest worries too)
so, think over before spitting at me and increasing my hopes for awhile aye.

I HATE THIS leh.
and everyone's out there studying and piaa-ing.
which is good (:
BUT. i just wanted to call to tell you,
"channel u is showing that experiment that's so amazing and you guys tried to do! the mentos and coke thing."
mommy and boy's phones are off for some reason.
perhaps studying.
ciara's out at planetshakers (:
it feels terrible tho.
and TERRIBLY wrong to not feel happy for them. not only them. everyone, i guess.

why?
because i can't do it.
as much as i want to study and sing and etc.
I FUCKING CAN'T DO IT, NOW.
so i'l just have to study alot harder after its all gone from me.
S:
devil's just getting meaner day by day.
THE HIGHER THE ANNOITING, THE HARDER THE ATTACK right =D!

but it still remains this painful, and i still can't take it at times.
watch how my optimism increases and decreases drastically luh.
so annoying please. and i am not fucking moodswinging.
ew what if i get my menses during this period.
I WILL JUST CRY OKAY.
hurhurhur!

DADDDDDDY ):

it hurts alot caaaaan.
i wna see again.
i wna sing again.
i wna shout again.
i wna squeal again.
i wna hug again.
i wna be there in the House of God, feeling all pumped up and high again.
i just wna be. raaaah/x

i'm feeling nonsense again.
haa. this is getting super long and disgusting.

i hate feeling this cold and dizzy and blurred and confused and frustrated and alone and avoided and poopoo ETCETC. /:
THE MORE I WNA STEP ON YOU, DEVIL. HA! xD

goshness, it swings like crazy.
(don't rub it on, I KNOW)

okaay i can't see much of what 'm typing nowww.
heng 'm familiarised with the keyboard.
fucking hell so irritating!

take away this (physical) pain, Daddy.
it's been continued for so long.

i fear for rapture. yet the excitement is there too.
i wna get IMMERSED. NOW.

i hate you, devil.
I LOVE YOU, DADDY DEAREST((((x  heartheartheart! HAHA ;D

the chest is still tightened.

the overwhelming want to gorge out my eyes to scratch them silly.
then maybe the pain will go away?

but one of the things that made my day today, i have to say.
chloe(:
thanks, Daddy.

random; lala, you're special. and thankyou, queen princess and knight.