ohyeah. finally this thing is over and done with.
songs went fine. i think its generally finer than usual and during rehearsals la.
which is goood =)
ahha !!

and umm.
pple are more eh...impressed in our messy cute phantom rather than our bouncy n cuterr maple.
=x bah!
yahwell.

the little chimebox is darn cute!
haaa. so out. extraa.
black top purple bottoms.
unlike our purple tops and black bottoms. x/
hehhs.

star of dreams. or dream of stars.
nice! i like the percussion loads.
from the bandd. xD

and i luv that tamildds dance lah! the front girl so nicee. she dance damndamn nice ah.
lala.

and the break was funner.
i guess?
ate MACS! ordered paid counted brought ate. x) whees.
but the stupid macs guy missed out my hamburger n esther's mcspicydouble.
woah shitthim la.
but hurray to priscilla who shared her nuggets n burger with both us.
priscillaaa. rockkking =P
yeahmann!!

thenn played passthemessage n uh answertheqn? yeahwell.
stupid la. we got called like 3times. n oni the last time is not false alarm. hmphh.
like so hurr. but okaye lahh.

uh. hmmletssee.
din messup that much this time. hapi bout that. =))
n yeah. stuff happend today. butwell. din stop them/us from doing well-er.
heh. xDD nonetheless performance was satisfactory. quite la.
lalala.

i was able to see wennqi! and joanna!! but no one else i know in the student crowd.
but did catch. bright flashes from xingyee's cam? haa.!
and heard that audience laughed at us. =x is that badd. xO!
lols. okay hope not la.
umm. yeah. n suzanne with her trumpet during rehearsals!!


so speechdae's done.


ohand. geog test went scarily. haaa.
free period was cute.
ru laixun and i. tied hands together in a kidnap fashion, both front and back.
then umm. try get our hands out each time.
x) haa. so sadisticc tho.
wrists so red n painn okay! aiyo.
yahla.

then today was kinda funn n i was being weirder than usual. esp during handbell.
act i tink its oni during handbell. recently. i always lidat. weirdweird.
hee.

yeah. i got carrots huggs!-


benfoo! haa. hii. im in a goodmood man. dont do that.
x)
aint assuming this time la. i noe how to spot my own mistakes mann.
i was asking if u meant that way. not assuming that u did.
question, not assumption.
andd i learnt another new word!! JUMPJUMPJUMPSABOUT-
haa.
FALLACY
fallacy.


hohoho!! christmas is commingg.
so is my bday. =P
whee.
that really aint meant to be hinting anything at all.
___riiiiiight.


yeahhs.
im starting to take an interest in drawing nonsensical stuff in my handbook. =x
not oni nonsensical words.
those funny sketchy arty sortof shaded drawings?
yeah those.
and my usual anime-ish ones.
aiyaa! muz be yying xinRU yvonne laa! xDD
damn. i dont like being influenced easily.
not that this is a bad thing to start drawing again.

i havent continued my drawings for a very long time alr.
so rustyy!
wheres the oil.
this is where..
now i start again. i guess.
=D

btw i've got a date on fridayy!!
carrot dated me out. hehhh.
qualityyy time. aww.
woooohoos !!!-


this is so muchh funnn___.joinme-

bigg miracle.
i like, decided to blog again.

rehearsal was boring.
yet sumwhat better than the previous! x)
which is good.
tho..i totally messed up kiss e girl.
=( sorry guys. esther n ziling`
ahhh x(( wont happen again!
yeah man.
whee.
in quite a happy mood! lah.
haa.

concluding a new fact: dolly is like damn damn ultra lame lah.
lamer than expected. she and her many crows dying off. =x
haaaaa!!

okay. andd!
i so learnt a new word todae!! xD
thanks to my kor.
ehhh. err.
perfunctory!
PERFUNCTORY !!
say it with me.
perr-func-toryy. =)
smth lidat. haa.
okae.
ehh.. benfoo. was that supposed to mean that i hurt anyone or anything in that previous post?
UH. thats one of my most not-pointing-to-anyone-an d-totally-innocently-not- meaning-anything-at-all post leh.
=x
see la! now u got me worried.
eee. i dun like this life.

yikes.
like ru said.
'no life-.

hurr. =/
umm. yeah.
then rite.

a big HI to bryan, banana and benfoo//
allll the Bs! =P

yupp!!


``Chrysalis' / loveliest dream. amazing. imaginary.-

yst night. got class bbq.

met up with yuling first.
haa. we are guilty.
cos we meet up too early. so went to cafe and get iced-something and icecream.
woah damn nice.
n fattening x(
hehhh?
 
anywae. went chlo's.
was quite funn yeah.
those pple who din come. =( were missed. =)
yuling left damn early. missed her! booooohoo.
joey and xinya too. hope she feels much better. heh.!
din get to wave goodbye to bee n carrot! din noe when they left mann.
hmph.
yahwell.
ohandd! malina's clips are cutee! darncute. x)) stars. yeahhh.

then..
played alot of daidee.
but oni won my first match which is my last match i played.
hurr. felt lousy. x(

ahh. felt lousy almost the entire bbq.
i dun like myself or others to stay away from the rest cos of their problems in life. during these supposedly funn n nice class stuff.
but. i did it la. lots pple too. =x
whoops.
talked to yying. kinda felt better.
then dont feel better at all. then felt better cos we talked again. haa.
funny.

i almost fell.
fell to my death. -gruesome-
but i didnt.. =)
youying, i almost but i didnt. haa.
felt so scared and alone lah.
so scaryy.
so freaky.
so creeeepy.

i hate being alone.
i hate being dumped. by a guy or a girl. both la.
i hate losing people.
i hate being distanced from close friends and so on.
hurrr! hurhurhurrr. shant be a sad entry today.
not very lah.

yupp so then.
i like the windd so much.
but it messes up my hair. hmph.
n i like standing ontop there. up there. balcony or smth.
its funn. but scary. like gona dropp off any moment lidatt.
ohnoo.

yahwells.
yying talks sense. thats scary.
woo.
n wenn the bunny is scary too.
her look. at times lah. veh scary!!
=x
sniff. scare me. wooo.

butnvm. felt better anyway.
haa. for that short period of time, i did.
=)
thanks.somuch.
yl, chlo, michie and bunnywrabbit.
thankyouu guys for making me feel so much better.
less burdened i guess.
oh yeahmann.

but wad greeted me in the car back home. and at home..
was not good. nope. not good at all.
and its so bad.
that i was pretty much prepared and ready.
dressed.
to go to the hospital. not for personal reasons.
but for near-personal reasons.
searched for spare keys. cos she wldnt come out.
she wldnt stop drinking.
she wldnt stop thinking of suicide.
she wldnt stop...
cos people wldnt stop hurting her.
howw, then?
in the end. the imaginary trip to the hostpial was cancelled.
luckily =)
it wasnt her end, yet.
it will be my loss. but it have yet to come.
and it better not arh.
shit.
willstoptalkingaboutthis.


ohya.
then tues went out with chlo yuling yying.
caught early slot for movie. damn early.
too early. so early that there were only us, a grp of boys, and a middle-aged couple. in the cinema.
alone n scary!! again. bleh.
only 9 pple leh.
watching. hitch. =))
was nice. touching. woww-ish.
hehhh. liked it yeah.

yupp. then took neos. n stuff. ate ate ate and ate.
and met cheryl!
we ate. pizza, then popcorn, then sakae sushi, then chlo yuling n i ate mac ice cream. woots.
fat lah! x((
haa. but nice wadd. who cares man.

then. lost that stupid wallet.
i duno lah.
lost all my neos taken on sat and tues.
shit lor. =(
double triple shit shitshit.
and i miss my lipice, my red earth glittery gloss thing.
my KEYS. my student pass. to be remaked.
and? i dont know. haiya.
and the grey pouch. haa.

okaye. thats all.
charlotte feels better after a short talk with roo.
yes roo. charlotte hopes to be able to do it.
hopes-
okay. thats a bolded-highlighted-big word in that sentence.
so brightt!! x) squints.!


haa. wheees.!!
replytags-

yulingg- ehh. heh. darned sweet-tongued lah. wooots! x) i wont leave you anytime that-soon lah. so still love me okay? heh! muacks*luvvya-
bananaboy- hello. thanks =)
kor- heyy.thankyouu ya? sister loves brother lots for always being there and being able to tolerate her nonsense and stuff. *muacks`
treble- ohyeah. =( that too. mine's gone. forever and ever tooos. sadd aint it. x(( haii.
yanyi senior- hohohohoho! haa. okay okay! LINKED le. x) happy? yeahman i know im nice la. =P hehs. your blog looks nicer than mine mann. that was meant to be a comfort. =))


woots-

-`ifeltbetter.youushouldtoos. x))

``-edited18march05. highlightedROO

hahaahaa.
ahaaahahaa.
i tink im going crazy lah!
aiyohh.

hahahahaha.
laughs bitterly.
i cant believe it lah.
this all jus ended so quickly.
bahh. fate. and all.
im bitter.
stop lying to me mann.
or think of better excuses.
goodness!

and i cant believe you either.
it onli took you this long.
this short.
so short !
woah man. damn fast lah.
and i cant take it.
i wan it all to come back.
can it?

i wld like the pill-taking, falling-from-cliff and car accident.
poemic. i love that poem. quite la.and so did my mother.
i think she was driven to be more suicidal then she already is after reading my poem. hurr.
its like sheesh la.
okay. i want
either one of them to happen.
cutting wrists are too popular. so are knife stabbings. or the one where u put ur neck thru a tied rope thing. and blahblah.
ee. maybe cross out pill-taking. thats like ew.
and theres prob no cliff around. so cross that out too.
bang me then. it goes woooosh!
then there. im not there anymore.
mum you can come with me. im nice n sweet n i allow u to follow.

but then again.
this seems so darn foolish and im oni causing more messes and problems for pple arnd.
as if.
lalala.
i laugh again.
sarcasm. it comes back again.
been long mann.

ahhwell.!
dun tink it will happen also lah.


im also here to thank ah.
and still choking from yuling's hugg. she said shes nvr letting go.
so scary! and so nice. haa.

hello, yying who loves me. i cheered up. x) haa. note past tense ya. but i'll be okay man. you will wait.! love you toos-

HEYY RU. THANKS MAN. DAMNIT I KNEW YOU MISSED ME LA! I shy le. 2 tagboards to make flooble jealous cos its so sucky. at times. i hope i cheerup too. cos this is getting draggy and annoying. but i cant help it.forgive. =x soyeah. see you weds. oh and. muackstoyouutoos'

hiie charmaine! =) lala.

thankyouu angel ` i will see you there thenn!! hees.


it will get better. promise me. please?

went out with siti siewbee n jams.
twas funn.
met karyn! haa. x)
and got pangsehed. hurr.

ahh. movie was like damn damn nice la!
haa. in a goood mood toos. x)
feel better. muchh lighter.
prob cos im getting numb after it happened so manyy times bah.
woots. quick quick.
*pinch*
still hurts. ahh. nvm.
heh

okae.
i love our neos!
the colours are damn nice.
n bright.
so were the pple. x))
haa.
i like the wooots one. woots!
like so funn.

yay. i wan go out moree.
heee.
i wan do stuff.!
=x

dunoe wad to blog le.
im feeling nervous suddenly.
which is scary.
hurr! how howw.

ahhhh.
veh scared. n nervous.
xO so scary!
haiyah.


thankyouu `sihui `michie `yuu
WOOTS ! haa. xD

-edited 13 march 05

there i decided to blog againn.


thankyou guys.
rehearsal was okay.

saddest part was not only cos some leaders walked past me sitting alone during 3rd song, giving me weird longgggg stares which lasted too longg to not make me feel lousy awful and annoyed. sucked.

ohkay. but overall.
i felt better n was in good mood lah.
then was like crying like shit. again cos of that.
like wad the hell rite?
=/ ohman. i wanted this entry to be nice.

haa.
anyw.
thanks pple for the talk.
esp yanyi, aruna, esther. woots.
yanyi who explained.
aruna whom i think gave me many nice comforting squeeze-shoulder pats.
esther who made me feel bad for not playing as well as her for our exam pieces, and let me rant to her for a few nice short minutes.

the talk helped, kinda. tho it seriously freaked me out abit la.
yanyi lor!
woah damn scary man. x(
yeah well.

thats all for today.
-------------------

no thanks to those pple who got me more irritated after reading your tags.
but ahhwell. u bothered to tag, sadd it was annoying.
was nice of you(s) lah.

thanks to those who really cared and said nice stuff.
and made me go woots.
haa.


kor, judas ar. dun crap on my board la!

kor- ya huh. say i really suck lah! thanks man. x( yahwell. my ball sports arh. cant make it. heh.
    & nbsp;  thanks for the 100 hugs. but the part where u specified it was from you, was totally irrelevant. i will knoe its u lah. almost no one else give that many. haa. twas kinda a compliment lah. dun get offended. i am not angry at my dear kor okay! see. dearr. heh.

judas- im not pretending to be anyone jus for that person(s). i wun really change. unless its for the better n i feel better that way. i will understand if its a fact n if u really know what the problem is. haa but the thing is u duno anything and u act and sound as if you are sure of what you are talking about. and relating it all to me. sorry you aint. sheeesh. 
    & nbsp;   &n bsp; im sure u meant well. but really, no thankyou for irritating me man.

jeremy- haa. dun wan ignore lah. i feel like voicing out. now lah. if not i always feel annoyed then i show it but i dun say anything about it, also irritate pple lah! lol. okay.


eishh.
-------

oh and.
yes siewbee n zanne.
x) will smilee mann.
hee. dun whack my butt!
n thankyouu for the sweets/chocolates.
woohoo.

hello sarah. roo. beat. priscilla. zanne. jeremy. benfoo. bryan. gail. siti. yuling.
=) good day. or night. baahh!
wooosh.

so bloody freakin sadd n angry.
urgh.
vehh hurt disappointed n damn damn sadd la. so super irritated.
and these feelings overpower anger n jealousy.
so much moree.
piece of bitchy sucky shit.

so heated up im seriously running a fever now.
really really.
i suckk.

ohman.
aiyohh.
i dun like you to fake concern.
i dun wan u to pretend as my real friend and all.
can u jus stop the act?
please and thankyou. =)
you've been greatly appreciated.

cant stand all of youu. damned you.
c'mon.
u cant get over it, im sorry for the past. i really am.
but seriously.
stop bitching about me. stop being a bitch to me.
n stop pretending to not be one n did not bitch after that.
freaking bloody bitches. ahh its not like i can do anything bout it. puiii.
noww i cant stop bitching bout you lah. damnit!
dont you dare flame.

urgh.
bloody fucked up sucker.
thats me mann.
i shld stop bitching bout others, noww.
ohyeahh.
dun you all worry.
okay. im jus being the bitch that i am.

i wished i din feel like crying.
wait.
i wished i cried after/while leaving the classroom block and then sch via the canteen.
i wished i cried in the bus when i felt like it.
i wished i did not dao so many pple on my way home.
i wish i did not annoy myself n others so much and wish that i managed to cry out so i dun feel this bad now.
shitla. contradictions.
fucked up.
sorry pple. =(

but then again.
im sorry to disappoint certain few who didnt think i was a bitch before.
sorry for bitching here.
but what the hell lah.
i will stop after this.
all bitching will go to my other blog instead okay?

boo go away n dun act.
dun pretend. kae?
n dun flame either.
hurr.

frigging bullshit, you.

bitchy freak. hate myself. jus for being me.
like whatever right.
i suckkk. so damn bloody much.
fuck lah!


thanks to nikki.
n angela, who showed me a slow shooting star this morning.

this ends.

lecture on law.
nus.
quite nice la.
bit boring but smtimes veh interestingg.
haaa.
x)

i learnt about.
3ms of cloth
ferrari
bmw 7 series
thumbdrive?
hehh. and..
signed sealed and delivered.

ohyes. =/

anyw.
i really really think my lil sister is interested in me lor.
as in sexually and all.
shes madd.
horrible !
shivershiverr

ohmann.

x)
happy belated-bday, sarahh! sarah ho.
happpy birthdae shiangnee!!
=DD yayy.

and kor, its okay if u dun get it.

i tink its better to separate happy n sad stuff. here i go.

a poem.
no dedications


I heard youu sing `who is calling

On the cliff,
the wind blows; i hear you sing
Inviting.

On the bed,
the pills fall; i hear you sing
Persuading.

On the ground,
the cars crash; i hear you sing
Beckoning.

In those arms,
it had stopped; i heard you sing

Singing still,
sing to me.

Then to you, i ask.
Who is calling?


-charlotte '05ã

and friday means tmr is saturday.
thats a random fact.
=))

okaye. so boredd in sch today.
except for the part where buncha us were trying to trick angela aka kailing.
haaa. n she fell for it!
so blurr n cute ah. x)
haiyoh.

i hav a nice angel.
thanks for the TYPED-OUT letter, and the pack of chocs
so sweet arr!!!
xD

n i hav a nice mortal tooos.
haa. plainly cos she has a nice angel.
hees.

okae.
ehhhh these few days seem cursed.
x(
hurr! boo la.

charlotte loves joey n siewwb lots.
i heart you pple. hahahahahah =DD

---
my dear baby roo ah...
veryy sorry. realised i said this alot of times.
not only cos of this time.
n i feel damn bad. serious serious.
haii. i duno wad to do.
but i hope u like the bottle =))
can throw it into YOUR big bottle of nice things.
hehhh. wait. u lost it rite
aiyah! hahaha. x) go get another bigg bottle.
okay okay? =)


another dearr, bee. *zzzzzzzz!!*
hahahas. this one oso.
muz be strong okae
some pple are jus not worth it.
sadly, yes, some arent.
=) but u are, okay?
which is why i bother to try make u feel better!!
whees.
bee is strong. bee is happy. bee loves charlotte.
jus as much, or more than how much charlote loves beee.
---

lalala.
shall reply tags!

yl - happy n sad dances rockk la!! haha so does everyone..in the dance, in the class, n all. =)
Judas- this time, with knees. THE KNEES HURT OKAY.
the anonymous joey- ohyeah. heyman. my knees got so many scratches after the morningpt lor!! =((
hyperjm- x) of cos
sihui- my dear senior ahhh! cokk ur head then u noe la! if i can reach it. =// haas anyw, u tagg both oso cann! the below one is actually put there cos im so angry at the flooble one! floooble is sooo conky man. haaa. jus to piss flooble off, i put another taggboard. heh. IT WORKS.
charmaine- hello ! now u noe arr. xDD hehhs. tralalala to u toos.
sieww- aww man. u silly girl! dun hate ur life. silly bee, youu. ^^
irah- x) okay!! hahass. 3N rockks, yeah.
evan- awwmannn. *BLUSHH!* haas. miss u toos =((. howw? heh. anyw thanks. 3M was nice toos. i saw u dance!!! xD yay. n shuen. hahahs

---

thats all.